Giving & Receiving Feedback

Feedback is information from one communicator to another.  You will either be on the giving or receiving end of feedback.  Whether you are giving or receiving feedback remember;

FEEDBACK IS INFORMATION, NOT DEFINITION!!

Giving Feedback:

Specific – Feedback should be based on observable behavior, not just one’s feelings or the conclusions drawn from the behavior.  For example, “Yesterday, when you rolled your eyes and walked out of the room, I thought I said something that made you mad.”

This statement specifically states the behavior that caused thoughts and feeling in you. The actions can be addressed and blame may be avoided. 

Timely – Feedback should be given in a timely manner so that both parties can recall the specific behavior involved. 

Actionable – Feedback should be based on something over which a person has control.  Behaviorally specific feedback is the most effective.

Non-evaluative – Opinions, perceptions, and reactions should be differentiated from facts.  Don’t psychoanalyze; avoid inferences and interpretations.  Avoid labels.

Establish a dialogue – Effective communication is never a one-way conversation.  When giving feedback check for understanding about what the listener heard. Listen to the response and clarify if needed then check again for understanding. When the listener understands it is the listener’s time to be heard.

Next Time – Establish what each party wants and what will happen next time.

Receiving Feedback:

First things first – Check you reaction and body and breathing.  If you aren’t breathing or if you find yourself getting angry do a “self intervention”. You can ask for a few minutes to gather your thoughts or perform the “WOW, tell me more” stalling technique.  Remember the rule that is ALWAYS true;

FEEDBACK IS INFORMATION, NOT DEFINITION!!

Paraphrase or Parrot what is said – When things are hot parrot-say the exact words that the speaker says to you.  Otherwise you can do a general paraphrase which is restating what you heard with emphasis on the meaning you are making from the feedback.

Re-Check – Check with the speaker that you got what they said correctly.

Establish Dialogue - Effective communication is never a one-way conversation.  When receiving feedback, check for understanding about what the speaker has said. Listen to the response and clarify if necessary. When the speaker acknowledges that you have correctly heard what was said it is your turn to speak.

Next Time – Establish what each party wants and what will happen next time.

Self Reflective Feedback Debrief:

What went well?

What was most challenging?

What did you learn about the other person?

What did you learn about yourself?

Will you do anything differently next time?